My mom died one year, three months, and 2 days ago. It feels like yesterday and forever ago all at the same time. I sat in my therapist's office tonight. I said something in reference to Mom and obviously got a little somber. My therapist asked me if I was missing her a lot lately. And I just started crying. I sat there in silence with my head down sobbing on and off for the whole hour... speaking softly because it's all I could muster.
It's funny how the grief hits. I sometimes wonder if it's getting better or if it's getting worse. They say time heals... but to me it feels some days like it will only get worse because I have to experience more and more things without her as a witness. It really bothers me that she didn't get to see me teaching. She didn't even know I was considering it. She would have loved it. And I would have been proud for her to see me.
I'm not terribly sad right now... therapy is cathartic, and I feel lighter for having gone... but I do miss Mom. She brightened every room she walked into... that's what I strive to be. I have a long way to go I think. :) But I will keep going.
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