A little light

I was itching to write something last night, but having complete writer's block. I have a bit to think on today, though.

Today was an interesting day... hopefully not an anomaly when it comes to my mood and general disposition. As you may know I have been dealing with depression issues lately. I feel like I have been teetering on the edge of a full blown depression. At the very least I've have been dealing with some severe stages of grief with regards to some areas of my life. Well, today felt different. It wasn't a perfect day. There was news I'd hoped for that I didn't get which was disappointing. There was little today that was extraordinary really. But I didn't have that uncontrollable need to "crawl back into my hole." There have been too many days in recent times that the only thing that gets me through my day is the idea of getting back to my apartment, getting in my pajamas and not having to be in the world.

But today I had a list of tasks to do after work. And as I wrote them down around lunch time the thought of them didn't make me want to cry (believe it or not a couple weeks ago it would have). I went to the gym and enjoyed it. I got my kilt dropped off at the tailor to be hemmed. I hit the grocery store. I put together chili in the crockpot, and I cooked breakfast for dinner. :) I was on the go until after 9pm. And I actually felt okay. I had the energy to make it through.

I may very well wake up tomorrow in the pit of despair. But I don't really think I will. I'm in the process of some heavy weights being lifted off me. I have had one mostly lifted. I look forward to the others. This life... it sure isn't easy. But I laughed today. I suppose that makes it a good day.