Viewing ourselves as who we want to be

I think in my heart I am an athlete. I also think in my heart I am adventuresome. These are the opposite of my outward appearance growing up... even into adulthood. Also it is the opposite of how I viewed myself. I was quiet and introverted and fat. I watched A LOT of television. And I ate way too much. I can still be quiet and introverted. And sometimes I can be fat. :) But there is such a difference in the way I see physical challenges now. I ran an 8k yesterday. I've run a number of 5k races. I ran one 10k. I've run a marathon. But I had never done an 8k. A friend was signing up, and honestly without allowing myself to think I couldn't do it I said "Sure! I'll sign up!" I never did get around to training for it. The last time I ran was in October in a 5k. I wasn't worried about finishing. I knew my legs would get me to the finish line even if I had to walk. I was a little worried about finishing last. Thankfully that did not happen. I finished. I was not last.

And this coming Friday I've signed up for a beginner's class in aerial silks. Yup... I'm gonna suspend my big old ass up in the air and hopefully do some slight acrobatics. I saw the flyer, it was free, and I didn't hesitate. That's why I say I'm adventuresome. I just feel like I've reached a point in my life where physically it really will be downhill from here (I can slow the downhill descent by keeping in good shape... but let's be honest... we don't get progressively better after 40), and I want to do things that come my way that sound fun. I don't want to regret not trying.

I try really hard not to use the word "can't." It does no good. There is truth to the idea that if you really want something you'll do it. If you don't do it then you didn't really want it. So I'm trying to do as much as I can. It's not always easy. I know the depression takes a toll some days, but I do think I'm slowly climbing out of that. I hope I've already hit bottom and pushed back up. All I can do is keep moving forward.

It is important to view ourselves as what we want to be. So I say again. I am an athlete. I am adventuresome. What are you?