I don't think it's possible to have an accurate idea of what I really look like. I think we all look completely different to each person. I catch glimpses from people sometimes that confuse the heck out of me.
Tonight I taught a small class at a BCBS center. It's usually pretty small. I had a lady stay after asking me about some Pilates and we were discussing general core training. Now I'm standing there in my normal teaching outside which is some version of cotton, lycra, and spandex. And I'm feeling pretty pudgy, as usual lately. And this woman, who is smaller than me, is complaining about her stomach area. And she makes the comment while gesturing my direction "yeah, but you've got a really small waist." What? Blink blink. What? I know my measurements. I know my size. I also know I am shaped in such a way that I am a bit of an optical illusion. I have always weighed more than I appear. But to me it seems quite obvious I do not have a small waist. But this stranger sees me that way. And I viewed her as being smaller than me. So who the heck is right?
Of course, I tell myself later "Oh, yeah, well, I have such a big butt and boobs that my waist just looks small." Then I told that voice to shut the fudge up. :) That voice is a loser.
I'm pretty awesome. I wish I could either quit wanting to be in better shape... or just get in better shape. That, of course, requires the dropping of my food vices. And that's just scary as hell.
That is all my rambling for tonight. :)
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