I'd be a weird mom

I suppose it's a good thing for any potential children I may have had in life that I'm not their mom. I mean, on one hand I think I'd be a good one... all about learning your own lessons, etc... but it may cross the line into apathy. You see I have not ever wanted to be a mom. My dear friend B, who has known me since age 14, once said to me "As long as I can remember I've wanted kids... and as long as I can remember you haven't." I didn't even know it was obvious back then. I may have thought I would have gotten married and had kids back then... it was what was "expected." I went through a very short lived period in my early 30s when my friends had cute kids around 2-3 years old when I thought "hmmm, do I want one?" Then I saw their kids hit 3-4 years old and my answer was a resounding "NO."

I have another dear friend, we will call her A, whose 9 year old daughter is in some advanced math thing where she brings home crazy hard math homework. So one day A starts telling me one of the problems they were trying to figure out... and my brain started to hurt... it felt like my brain was hurting, I tell you. And I stopped her mid-sentence and said "Just stop... I'm not thinking about this. I don't have homework. I won't do it." She said a little more about how crazy the problem was... and I said "Seriously A... I am not thinking about this. It hurts my brain." She laughed. I laughed. Heck, we still laugh about it. I told her if her kid can't figure out the work then she doesn't need to be in the class... so she, the mom, shouldn't have to worry about it. And in this way I may have been a great mom... or a really shitty one. I am pretty happy not ever finding out. :)

I do say I think my friends are all amazing moms... each with their own style. I don't know how, or why, they do it... but they seem to be doing a good job. :)