I am so not perfect at this whole fitness thing. :) Okay, I'm pretty good with the exercise. I tend to be a really hands on type gal, and I like physical things. And now that I've found things I like to do for exercise, combined with the gym having become a much more social place, getting myself to the gym takes far less discipline. But the food... oh, the food. Constant healthy eating has not become second nature yet at all. I'll do well for several days or weeks... then naturally give myself a little room to wiggle and enjoy some reckless eating. Sadly, sometimes it is a little harder to get back on track than other times. Stress, illness, weekends, hormones... you name it... life can make that candy bar or soda so ridiculously irresistible.
Today I am sick. Nothing major: headache, head cold, sneezy, sleepy, grumpy. Heck, let's throw dopey, happy and doc in for good measure. But I am sick enough that I decided against a trip to the gym. First of all I didn't want to make any of the kindly gym-goers sick with my germs. Secondly, I did the RPM (cycling) class once with a headache. And let's just say... um, no. Not a mistake I want to repeat. And thirdly, the idea of doing the downward dog with a running nose just seems awful... or sneezing while balancing... not a good plan. Normally taking a day off from the gym isn't bad. But I just took 2 days off for recovery time. So the third tacked on here starts to mess with me mentally a little bit. Logic versus emotions. Logically I know damn well that 3 days, or 4 if I'm not better tomorrow, will not undo all the work I've done. But emotionally it gets me out of my routine of being at the gym... and that worries me that I won't get back in the routine.
Earlier in the day when I made the decision to skip the gym I thought, "No worries. Just watch your eating today since you can't hit the gym." And so I watched as I ate a Big Mac for dinner. Yes, with french fries. Sickness, and especially tiredness, can definitely break down your defenses. Times I've been sleep-deprived I have very little ability to police my eating. Driving to work during my time of insomnia it was really common for my brain to say in all seriousness "Yeah... a fried chicken biscuit and huge glass of sweet tea... THAT'S an awesome idea!" And my little sleep-deprived brain would drive my fat ass to BoJangle's without thinking. It's good to recognize why we choose bad food. It reminds me to get plenty of sleep. Sleep deprivation is not my only trigger, but it's a big one. I'm not sick often so maybe on days when I am I should cut myself a little slack. But I know I haven't been doing as well with my food intake as I'd like lately so it's hard to just let it go.
I have had several "plateaus" while losing weight. But being completely honest about it they have been self-inflicted plateaus. I start eating more or exercising less. When I finally get in gear the weight comes off again. It seems like it would be easy to stay in gear... you'd think anyway. :)
I would love to not worry about my weight. Will that ever happen? I realize the answer to that is "probably not." That stupid fat kid in my head is pretty determined to stay put. Part of the reason I advertise my working out and eating on Facebook, and now here in this blog, is to keep me moving forward. By letting my little part of the world know what I'm doing... well, I feel like it helps to keep me from failing or backtracking. Or it has so far. It also gives me positive feedback... and don't we all need that on occasion when things get tough? Anyway, I know my Big Mac won't really hurt anything as long as it doesn't start a habit of Big Mac eating. And I know I'll get back to the gym. Staying focused on the road ahead is the important part... not stopping at a bump in the road and turning around.
Anyway, I felt like advertising my setbacks today... not just my successes. To quote a song a friend posted on FB today "Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, nobody gonna slow me down oh no I got to keep on moving". Yeah, that's been stuck in my head all day. Maybe if you read it you can sing along too! :)
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